Thoughts on Things

You asked me to wait around until you showed up. I said perhaps. You wanted a commitment. I said only if you yourself committed to showing up. You said ok, and committed to showing up. You didn't show up. Was I harmed in any way by that? Not unless you consider the active manner in which I wait for things harmful. Was I hurt in any way by it? Certainly. How you handwave away all discussion, just committing to whatever it may be, in order to further your agenda hurts. How you then disregard said commitment, for reasons that may or may not be perfectly valid, hurts. All I ask is that you consider. Consider why you're being asked for a commitment before committing. Consider if you can, and are willing to, fulfill a commitment before committing. And consider how those around you feel if you don't take your commitments to  them, and   them themselves, seriously.

Ever find yourself waiting for something and doing nothing else? I call that active waiting.  You double park your car and head inside for a couple minutes in anticipation of a spot clearing up. Active waiting . A friend tells you they'll be over in a little while. Active waiting . You have a flight to catch later today. Active waiting . I'd love to get other things done in the meantime, but starting anything longer than a minute or two or properly focusing on anything at all is just disallowed. Is it caused by anxiety? Obsession? Lack of focus? Whatever it is, I should probably get it under control.